I have for a long time now wanted a law to be named after me, going on long after I am dead, or better still, a theorem that can be argued over and discussed long into future nights, eventually being proved true, naturally. It’s a sort of desperate cry for immortality I suppose. I hear of ‘Moore’s Law’ about computing power, ‘Sod’s Law’ about luck, ‘Pascal’s Theorem’ of something extremely complex and frankly utterly beyond a middle aged guitarist’s comprehension.

Well, now my wish has come true, I propose the Lydian Irrelevancy Principle. Ta-dah! What my principle states is that the relevance of any musician to ordinary music listeners is inversely proportional to the frequency of the musician’s use of the Lydian mode. Typically, a guitar god will burst onto the scene, mentioning no names, and will dazzle the huddled masses with sonic brilliance and fret board dexterity. His music communicating effortlessly with his audience, simple, sparse melodies supported by tight harmony and funky rhythms, mostly a product of many years spent playing and writing, all distilled into the first album. However, the years pass and withering beneath the burden of whatever, be it drugs, drink, groupies, hectic touring or the inspiration sapping schedule of contractually obliged albums every 6 months and a powerful need to eat, he substitutes the use of the Lydian mode for true musical inspiration.

It is said that the Lydian mode conveys a sense or magic or awe, the guitar god hopes that the shuffling plebs will be fooled by this musical sleight of hand and will still gaze adoringly up at him, open mouthed with wonder (and buy his albums of course). Well, matey, I’m not fooled. Before writing this, I googled around a bit trying to find well known Lydian tunes and the best I could come up with was the theme for ‘The Simpsons’! Is there anyone, seriously, who has this tune on their favourites? There are many obscure tunes of course, but nothing I could actually hum from memory.